Just A Buffer

Look Again

cathieboo — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 12:44:11 +0000

Have you taken time to have a good look at yourself? Are you turning into a person you want to be? If you’re not, look again. Maybe you just don’t know what you want to see. Maybe that’s it, you just don’t know.

In addition to the obscurity you have about whatever is going on with you, there maybe entities which are making things a lot harder for you – from changes occurring in your life to spectacularly stupid people. And all these random things just keep on piling up until you are being flooded with a lot of displeasures. That’s the way the cookie crumbles. But no matter how hard the situation may be, at the end of the day, you still make the decisions.

It may be frustrating to be with people who don’t value the concept of time and efficiency. It may be extremely maddening to be with people who don’t even know what “hard work” means. It may even be hard to draw a line between friendship and responsibilities. Almost everything is hard, so why don’t you let yourself be happy about what you are and what you have? I know, it’s easier said than done. Well… At least you know; you could start doing something about it.

Unearthing What Had Happened

cathieboo — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:11:52 +0000

Exactly two weeks ago, I was breathing as though life has no complexity at all. Exactly two weeks ago, Fez of That 70’s Show alleviated every single shred of boredom that I had. Exactly two weeks ago, I could do anything.

Now… The lack of the right state of mind (that suits school) had finally taken its toll. Freak out moments: a hard to please professor in Political Economy who expects a high standard term paper (don’t get me wrong, I’m just scared of disappointing him), inefficiency in doing small papers (time consuming), inability to read the reading requirements in almost all subjects, belittling Finance (extremely wrong), and the lack of the right priorities. Then again, what’s done is done. I cannot beautify the first to weeks of classes. The rest is still yet to come.

I feel like everyone is so old na. A lot of people I know will be graduating this academic year. It doesn’t seem real.

Why do I get the feeling that I don’t do well at anything? It’s frustrating.

IT scares me.

cathieboo — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 06:25:17 +0000

Thank you to all the respected members of the faculty that I had come across to. I’m very grateful for the knowledge that you have given me. But I’m troubled that what I’m looking for can’t be found in books or in any theoretical entity.

I have this feeling that I almost always failed everything that I thought I wanted.

I also have this feeling that I am never gonna be good enough.

I am really hoping I could get rid of these two feelings because it’s wastefulness. But then again, getting rid of it is not just a simple walk in the park.

I need something more than school.

shame.

cathieboo — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:08:27 +0000

Re-submitting someone else’s paper to the same professor and same subject but on a different term is the most stupid picture I had ever seen.

I guess it’s my fault because in status quo, I have a propensity to trust people easily. [academically]

Thank you for letting me see clearly what deception looks like.

quicksand

cathieboo — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:21:38 +0000

The thing about quicksand that most people often forget is the fact that it could bring the people who are in its surface not just in the lowest of lows but also into something higher or above its surface; one can even get the hell out of it. Part of the reason why most people had mislaid their eyes in seeing that there are still ways for them to be able to get out of whatever unfavorable state they’re all currently in, is because this quicksand – unhelpful entities, hate-worthy people, problems and challenges are just too difficult to deal with. I argue that difficulty, be it in its epistemological meaning and its practice, does not imply that any form of it is impossible to get through. Difficulty is not impossibility, infeasibility and permanence – never was and will never be.

If the present situation isn’t working for you, be flexible enough to adjust. Don’t beat yourself up because nothing will gonna get any better by doing so.